Tania.co.za

Whitelist me, please!

Would all the e-mail administrators in local, regional and national government departments throughout South Africa kindly whitelist my e-mail address?! The reason why you are getting so much mail from me sent to your servers is because so many of your colleagues are requesting Project Management training from ProjectManagement.co.za, and when I take all the trouble to write them carefully worded, contextual, individual responses to their specific questions, I would appreciate it if you didn't treat me like some bulkmail robot!

ProjectManagement courses fully booked; even more additional courses scheduled

"Fully booked" is a phrase I have frequently posted on the ProjectManagement.co.za Web site this year. This morning Claire told me that August's Programme in Cape Town is also full now. The next Cape Town Programme would be in November, and that, I knew, was filling up rapidly too, so I asked her if we could have another one in September. I think she must have then spoken to MC (the lecturer) immediately -- and he is a snappy decision-maker -- because next she copies me on memo to a dozen people to say that an additional Programme in Project Management has been scheduled for Cape Town, to be held in September 2008.

Now that word is out regarding the new Programme in Information Technology Project Management scheduled for 2009, enquiries for this course have also been coming in steadily. I have been mailing the dates and fees and a course overview in the meanwhile to those who enquired before they appeared on the Web site. This is just to bide the time until registrations open officially, though; I don't even have a proper course outline to give them yet, but a number of prospective students are already eager to pay now to ensure that they get in. (We're not taking their money yet, though!) Looks like it's going to be a popular course, so if you want to be on the first one, you may have to ensure that you send your details in early.

The joyful art of exhibitionism

When I moved into this building at the beginning of 2005, my neighbours' parties did not disturb me unless they were playing rugby pop or gangster rap. I listened to Mozart, Claude Bolling and Nina Simone. I would never have imagined that only a few years later I would be the owner of a CD by some bulky nigga (his word) with Florida tattooed over his entire back and two full-bottomed wenches beside him, rampant. Or, for that matter, that, having committed myself to go up the West Coast to provide training to a group of mining engineers over the weekend, I would bitterly lament my situation upon discovering that this clashed with the dance-offs at the African Hip-Hop Indaba at the Good Hope Centre.

How on earth could a 43-year-old professional blonde woman get her mind into such a culture-warp?

When I was a child, my family used to put on records and we would all dance at home -- parents, kids, and visiting relatives. The father of one of my school friends had a steel band, and whenever the audience was too shy to get up and dance, my friend's mother would fetch me, and we'd go to the front and get the thing going. I took dance lessons at various stages -- ballet, salsa, whatever -- but I did not really excel at anything except for national dance (a term which back then referred to the folk dances of Europe).

Although my husband I and interacted just fine on the dancefloor, he seldom wanted to go out, so I in about 17 years of marriage we probably went dancing fewer than 10 times. The only time I'd dance (albeit with greatly limited movement) would be if I was in supermarket or post office queues when I could not keep still.

After my divorce, I attempted to get back into dancing, initially with disastrous results: I joined a dating Web site purely to make new friends and to go dancing; but, although I had no desire for any form of romantic entanglement, it soon emerged that respondents care very little whether you say "friendship only" on your profile -- if you avail yourself there, you should be prepared to date and mate.

Having moved back into the student town of Stellenbosch, I eventually discovered that social dancing had changed, and that when young white people go out to dance nowadays, a partner is an optional extra; Black and Coloured women tend to go out dancing with friends of the same gender, whilst their male counterparts join in as an act of solicitation and foreplay. I also eventually learned that the parallel tradition of solo dancing which had emerged from the Breakdance and Flashdance styles of my own youth had given way to a myriad popular new styles. And so, with social conventions finally providing a gap, I started dancing alone, first in the crowd, and eventually, as my confidence grew, arriving earlier in the evening, so that I might have the entire space to myself until the rest of the crowd had gained sufficient Dutch courage to take to the floor. Having been a nerd all my life, I knew little about the differences between pop, rock or anything else, let alone the subleties of sub-genres. I developed a taste for what my friends tell me may be classified as British alternative, but found that on the odd occasion I was quite happy to dance to heavy industrial as well. I also developed a distinct disdain for house music, which seemed to me like a formulated conspiracy to turn people into prancing puppets. On the few occasions that I went dancing wearing high-heeled shoes, I imagined that I probably looked like a pole-dancer, and became so embarassingly self-conscious that I tried to stick to flat shoes and tomboyish outfits to avoid developing an unwanted reputation. (Being thought of as weird is one thing; being taken for a floozy is another thing entirely.)

One night whilst on a business trip, I switched on the TV in the guest house as they were doing a short feature about a new dance movie. I was inspired by the interview with the Chinese director, as well as by a dance scene featuring a hip-hop song that had both the pace and the bass which have always managed to resonate with me, as well as a sufficiently melodious chorus to allow it to pass for a proper song. Although I promptly forgot the name of the movie and the director, I was lucky enough to pass a poster for it a month later when I was back at home, and dragged a friend off to see the film. It was called Step Up 2, and the song was called Low. As I expected, the movie plot was a collection of clichés, some of them so ludicrously strung together that the entire story was completely devoid of credibility; but I enjoyed the dancing, and something that the director had endorsed with a twinkle in his eye: street dancing as "an opportunity to show off". Until that interview, Calvinist modesty had dictated a sense of guilt in me; but this statement, and the endearing character of the female lead, finally liberated me into believing that showing off can actually be OK. From that point onwards, I began searching for dance contests. I had reached the limits of my own repertoire of solo moves -- a combination of ballet, hip-hop, folk dancing and everything else I'd been exposed to through the years -- and was looking for inspiration from people who reckoned they have something to show. But I knew no-one who was doing what I was doing, and could find no events relating to my pursuit in Cape Town. Vacca Matta seemed to have discontinued the exciting dance entertainment they used to provide, and although I found plenty of inspiration on the Internet at sites like DanceJam.com, I could find no local events.

I tried out the funk class offered by Jazzart at the Artscape, but the young instructor, undoubtedly a good dancer himself, was inexperienced as a teacher, and taught sequences rather than moves, without any communication of the lesson plan. I am a slow learner of this sort of thing anyway, so I was hopelessly lost by the pace of the lesson, and decided not to go again. However, I was keen to stay in touch with him, as it appeared that the type of street dancing for which he had a passion was not really endorsed by his dance academy -- a theme similar to that of the movie I'd seen. He seemed genuinely surprised when I said that I was not really interested in the academic stuff at all, but passionately interested in to coming to Mitchell's Plain to see real guys doing the real thing.

Ballroom, Spanish, even "contemporary" dance -- it has all been formalised, and has become very serious. Dance as therapy perhaps offers room for self-expression, but it seems to be more of a private thing, without the confident joie de vivre offered by public exhibitionism. Hip-hop, on the other hand, is dynamic and constantly evolving, and although some manifestations of this sub-culture are characterised by an oppressive set of tribal taboos centering around an extremely carnal and materialistic set of values -- not to mention violence and other forms of crime and just plain interpersonal nastiness -- the inherent primitive rivalry seems to stimulate the development of dance, including both the refinement of technique and the invention of new forms.

On Saturday night, crews from throughout the country will be competing with one another for right to go to the international championships in Germany -- and I won't be there to see the battles! At least the whole exercise has finally led me to the people who organise this sort of thing. So maybe somewhere, somehow, someday...

Big demand for Project Management training on NQF 7 in Johannesburg

As I predicted in February based on the number of enquiries via the ProjectManagement.co.za Web site, it has been necessary to schedule at least three more courses for 2008. Due to the length of the waiting list for the additional Programme in Project Management in Johannesburg, another course has now been scheduled there for 17–21 November 2008. There's also still limited space in the Pretoria and Cape Town (see options). This Programme will also be held in KZN, the Free State and Nigeria next year (see dates).

Walk

I know you are weak. But my legs have broken from carrying you all this time. Don't you understand why I flinch and retreat from you when you try to lean on me? You need to strengthen so that you can walk walk on your own, because you are a giant and I am an elf, and I cannot bear your weight. Don't you understand why I begged you so many times to let us get more support? I can only walk along the same road as you once you can do it without me. (And once I too can walk straight again, without stupidly stumbling and falling into holes.)

 

Pink Monday: A story about customer service

The one thing I seldom buy on impulse is a pair of shoes. It took me many months to find a pair of sporty shoes that pleased me. For about two weeks I wondered whether I had done the right thing, because they cost far more than I am usually prepared to pay for shoes. Besides, they had a well-known logo on them, and I am such a reverse snob that I actually considered camouflaging it with a black clothing marker. But they grew on me, both figuratively and literally, and eventually I was deeply in love. They were my favourite shoes both for teaching and for dancing, having a good flex, a snug fit, not too much grip for pirouettes, yet enough grip to bounce off the walls.

Earlier this year I made an error in judgement, and here is the lesson: never ever pack a pair of black Nike Rhythm Lace shoes into your checked-in luggage!

Upon my return home, I set out to replace the pair which had been pilfered from my suitcase, but the range had been discontinued. I managed to find a pair on sale in an unpopular colour (baby pink) which I bought anyway. I could find none in black, although it seemed that various shops still had the odd pair or two, but I would have to know where to look. I even bought a pair of black Nike shoes in a different style and tried in vain for an entire week to wear them in as I had done with my Rhythm Lace shoes. (As a result I now have an eternally painful toe!)

By now I was phoning shops as far away as Gauteng. See, although I was prepared to dye the pink shoes black, I also realised one pair would not do, if these shoes were no longer being produced and I would not be able to get hold of a new pair in the future. I decided to contact Nike's head office in South Africa, but this proved to be very difficult, because not only does the Nike Web site have no contact number, but it also has no Web form or other manner of sending a message to Nike! So I tried something else: I began lamenting the situation on the wall of every Nike fan club I could find at Facebook. My persistence paid off. A representative from Nike South Africa contacted me and arranged to get me a pair of those shoes.

From that point onwards, three wonderful things happened. When they phoned me to ask where the shoes should be delivered, I thought of nominating a sports shoe shop in the town where I live. No, they said, the shoes would be delivered to me by courier; I simply needed to specify my address. Wonderful; but I now began to fear the price, because my previous two pairs, the stolen black ones as well as the new pink ones, had been bought at discounted prices. So I was expecting to pay the full scary retail price for the pair which Nike was sending me. I asked how they wanted me to pay -- by EFT, or in cash to the person who delivers the shoes? No, came their reply, I was not expected to pay at all!

By now I felt like someone who'd just been told she'd had won the grand prize in a competition, but that wasn't all. When I arrived at work on Monday, the courier had just delivered my package. I wondered why Nike had sent the shoes in such a large box, and when I opened it, I was met by the final surprise, which coloured any hint of a blue Monday the most wonderful shade of pink: although Nike had not managed to get me a black pair, they had sent me two pairs of these shoes, one pink (which I shall dye black), and one white, at no charge.

I still think Nike should make themselves more contactable via their Web site, and I think that other style which I bought should be examined for its potential as an interrogation aid. But the gift which they sent me thrilled me into such brand loyalty that I will not consider deleting the swoosh off any Nike item ever again; and it showed that good customer experience is not just about having good systems in place, but also about caring enough to go the extra mile, and finding ways to exceed the customer's expectations even when parts of the system are suboptimal.

Programme in IT Project Management: Course overview

OK, I have some more info about this course from Martin now:

The objective of the programme is to equip project managers, owners and key resources on IT projects with the knowledge required to successfully complete IT-intrinsic projects. The programme first covers basic project management principles, processes and techniques before presenting the application of these to the IT domain. All aspects of IT systems development and implementation are covered, including bespoke software development and the roll-out of major enterprise systems (e.g. ERP, CRM or SCM). The programme does not present a specific methodology (e.g. PRINCE2, Agile or Scrum), but covers all the important subject areas of IT project management.

Click here for course dates or send us your details if you want to receive more info when we have it available.

Why I won't deal with the dealers

When you sell a litre of milk to a criminal, are you feeding his crime? If not, then how would you feel about selling karate lessons to his staff?

There comes a time when a personal belief turns into a corporate policy, and today is such a day. I have now finally been confronted with the question I have discussed with my colleagues before, but thought I wouldn't have to deal with so soon in terms of a final decision. Many of my friends smoke, and I hate what they are doing to themselves; I have a major moral problem with the tobacco industry. This morning I got a Project Management course enquiry from a company that sells tobacco products and smoking paraphernalia. Does the fact that I have allowed my friends to light cigarettes with the matches I keep around for lighting candles make me a hypocrite in wanting to turn down business from the merchants who supply them? Whichever way, I have decided not to accept the work.

My reasoning is as follows:

If a notoriously horrible government wants our organisation to train its officials in Project Management, I could still feasibly say yes; after all, their mandate is to provide services to their citizens, and perhaps by training these guys, I could help them to be better at that. If they then also choose to use the same knowledge to run a campaign to exterminate their political opponents, then it would be unfortunate, but then nearly anything intended for good can also be turned into a weapon.

But the mandate of a tobacco company is to sell tobacco. And they don't generally do so by making it into leafy umbrellas; people smoke it. And unlike booze, which is fine unless you drink too much of it, tobacco is always bad for you.

Now to figure out how to politely word the reply in a manner that shows no disrespect to those who have made the choice to work there...

PRINCE2 training in South Africa

I forgot to mention earlier, the ball has now also started rolling with regard to accredited PRINCE2 training. At this stage if you want us to arrange it in Cape Town, you'd need to book an in-house course, but there are regular scheduled courses in Johannesburg (in Sandton, to be precise) for Foundation, Practitioner and the associated exams (which get sent to the UK to be marked there).

The PRINCE2 methodology takes Project Management three-letter acronyms into new volumes. You have to understand that you are dealing with an ATO (which should preferably also be an ACO, if you want proper follow-up with the implementation) before you even get into a training room. It's going to take some time before we have the new sales processes properly set up and all the correct credentials, accreditations, affiliations and associations explained on the Web site, but in the meanwhile, all you need to know is that if you send us a PRINCE2 training or consulting request, it will be followed up promptly with proper APMG compliance.

Course dates for Programme in IT Project Management

OK, we now have dates for the new course in Information Technology Project Management: The first one will be run in Cape Town from 2 to 6 March 2009 and the next one from 28 September to 2 October 2009. (The course will be on NQF level 7, i.e., post-graduate, but an undergraduate degree will not be a prerequisite.) I should be ready to put a preliminary course outline on the Web site at the end of the month. (Sorry, not before then because I have scheduled a nervous breakdown for myself from 21 to 30 July. I deserve it, I have earned it, I have postponed it three times already, and no-one is jolly well going to deprive me of it this time.) I am still very excited about the fact that we can finally have this course, and particularly chuffed that Martin Butler is going to be the presenter. If you want to be notified when the fees, course schedule and other information are available, make sure we have your details.

Kaalvoetjies

There's a girl -- I guess she's around 20 -- who likes to play fooze at the place where I go dancing. She is cute and friendly but a bit elusive; she is often barefoot and looks free-spirited. My flatmate and I like her, and refer to her as Kaalvoetjies, but I did ask her her real name once. Sometimes she comes there with a much older, slightly bookish but kind-looking man; I am guessing he must be her flatmate. I like that about her: she chooses her own company, and often it is not who you'd expect. But usually she's in the company of others her own age.

There's been a university vac and many of the regulars at the club were away for several weeks. This weekend many of them came back and the place started feeling right again. On Friday night Kaalvoetjies was there too. There was an older woman with her too, a woman around my age, a woman with a slightly dented nose.

But what I couldn't get over were those dark patches under her eyes. And how fast her face is ageing. She didn't look like that when I last saw her. Slightly stoned sometimes, maybe, but not this. What did she tell her mother these holidays, I wonder? "Ag ma, I have just had a lot of late nights studying, it's no big deal, I am fine"? Would her mother even know enough about coke and tik to recognise the signs and know that she is just plain flat lying? And if she could see it -- what next? If even I feel that I want to grab her and smack her across the head and hold her and hug her and save her from destruction, what does a parent feel? And how do you save your child when she's no longer a child?

How not to talk to your bank

Here is some correspondence between me and my bank. I have removed the names of the people who mailed me, and truncated some of the responses a bit.

I would like to ask anyone who thinks they understand my question how I should phrase it so that the bank will understand it as well. Or am I just too uneducated to understand the replies?

Me:	I currently have a silver credit card and I recently received mail from ABSA saying I could have a gold one instead if I wanted, and explaining the benefits. I would like to see a feature comparison between the two before I decide. Could you assist?
Absa Person Number 1:	Herewith the information as requested. Unique Advantages Preferential debit and credit interest rates. Reap the Benefits Free optional Global Calling Card. Free BP FuelMaster Express available to garage cardholders. Balance transfer available at 1, 5% less than prime for the first 12 months. *Terms and conditions apply Combi facility - link your card to your Absa Cheque or Savings Account. Up to R3 000 per day can be withdrawn at an ATM from your credit card (per branch arrangement). Secondary Cards are available, which are convenient for a spouse and children. These members share the same limit with the primary cardholder. Garage cards can be linked to Gold Credit Cards and can be used for petrol, oil, spares, repairs and tollgates. Accepted at over 24 million merchants worldwide. Up to 57 days interest-free credit. Monthly electronic statements available. The following insurances are available to Gold Credit Card holders Lost Card Benefits are included in the monthly service fee. Optional Card Life Plan - covers outstanding balance up to R50 000 in the event of Death or Permanent Total Disability, and 10% of outstanding balance for 4 months in the event of Retrenchment (Terms and Conditions apply) [ Silver, Gold, Platinum and Private Bank cards) Automatic Basic Travel Insurance whenever travel tickets are purchased with the Absa credit card. (Optional Extended Cover also available, call 0861 ABSATI / 0861 227 284) Should you require any other assistance or information... (etc.)
Me:	Thank-you, Absa Person Number 1, but the mail which I received already did include a unique feature list. What I am looking for is a feature comparison between that which I currently have, and that which I could get. For example, if I currently get X% interest on a silver card, I could be getting Y% interest if I had a gold card; or if I am currently paying X per month in fees, I could be paying Y, and so on. To give a more specific example, the gold card means that I get up to 57 days interest-free credit, while the silver card means that I get only... (how much)?
Absa Person Number 2:	Please find attached a comparison between our Absa Gold and Silver Credit Cards. Kindly note that the monthly service fee for a Silver Credit Card is R9.99 and R13.50 for a Gold Credit Card. We trust that this is in order.
Me:	Absa Person Number 2, I don't understand. I want information that will enable me to decide which card I would want by comparing the benefits and obligations. The only differences that I can see in that document are that the gold card is a different colour, and the annual income is bigger, which presumably means that you must be richer to have one of those. The monthly charge on a gold card is also higher, as you say. So does that mean that it is better to have a silver card? If you were in my position, and someone sent you that attachment, then based on that information, which card would you choose, and why?